Joy of Missing Out

FOMO sneaks up on us because we are wired for connection. Our brains feel good when the group includes us. They release a happy chemical called dopamine, like a prize. But, say no and stay in? Then you feel worried. Studies show this feeling is strongest as a teen, but it stays with us into grown-up life. Think staying too long at work parties, obsessively scrolling on social media so you don't miss out on what someone is up to, or doing risky things to fit in with a new crowd.

For women, this pressure can feel even bigger. This is especially true for our new audience of women with disabilities. They might think, "If I don't go, will they think I'm weak?" or "If I don't go, will I ever get another chance?" But following the crowd often makes us tired, not strong.

The whispers of "everyone's having fun without you" push fast choices. Like going to parties we hate, participating in trends that don't fit us, or ending up in places that make us uncomfortable. Peer pressure gets harder to fight because we are just happy to be included. I've helped young women who ignored their safety feelings just to fit in learn to recognize the signs they may feel next time: the fast heartbeat, the pit in their stomach, and the restlessness in making a decision to go or to stay. That's intuition from Situational Awareness 101 talking, not weakness. Ignoring our gut feelings for acceptance or approval from others is the first step to feeling regret.

Every time I talk about healthy friendships, I explain that friends are part of relationships too. They can be toxic and risky, just like romantic ones. Spotting weaponized FOMO and peer pressure is crucial for young women. Here's my advice and how it fits Situational Awareness 101:

Turn your fear of missing out into joy of missing out.

• Audit your invites: Does this match my values? Will it fill me up or tire me out?
• Practice the power of pausing: Next time pressure comes, breathe. Ask: "What do I really want to do right now?"
• Build your friend group carefully: Pick friends who cheer your "no's" too. Like, "I'm proud of you for staying in so you can do great on that test tomorrow."
• Practice self-care religiously and with the friends who get it: Gym date? Study sessions with face masks and a set bedtime? The friends who understand the occasional need for solitude and are willing to experience this alternate kind of joy with you are priceless.

This isn't just self-help—it's safety training. JOMO keeps you clear-headed to spot real threats. Your best protection? Friends and habits that honor your instincts. Stay safe, angels!

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