The Burden of Prevention

Operation Halo will often say that it is not our fault. Odds are, we didn’t make the evil choices that put us in danger; somebody else did. And yet, it still seems like it is our responsibility to try and avoid that evil, doesn’t it? This is the reality that haunts so many people, women and men. This is called the burden of prevention.

I remember my mother telling me she wasn’t worried about me driving on icy roads or late at night. She had prepared me the best she could in empty parking lots in the cold, where I practiced controlled braking and losing control of the vehicle without freaking out. She told me that she was scared of the other people driving on those same roads, people who may not have the experience or the attention span to navigate dangerous conditions. People who may be under the influence. She trusted me more than I trusted myself to drive in those conditions. Still, she warned me to avoid going out on the ice at all costs and between certain nighttime hours. This concept applies to many other parts of life.

Life as a woman is often just like this story. We have predators out there, lurking like patches of black ice. We have unintentional dangers as well. A naive and reckless friend pressuring us with drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean any harm, but could negligently cause it, just like a drunk driver causes a deadly wreck. Both of these situations are threats to us, and we have to do our best to control the uncontrollable while navigating this highway we call life. We can take the wheel and listen to our thoughts leading up to an event, flagging feelings of discomfort, and trusting our intuition in situations that don’t feel right. Our intuition could be presented with two tiny thoughts like “something about that man on aisle three is making me nervous” or “a real friend wouldn't pressure me like this." I’m sure you’ve had thousands of thoughts like that before.

If more predators were held accountable for their actions, if more people realized that seemingly insignificant lapses in judgment can have major consequences, and if more schools educated kids on things that really matter, the world would be a better place, and we women wouldn’t have to rely on our intuition so heavily. Unfortunately, that isn’t realistic, and we have to prepare ourselves to lift more weight on a burden we didn’t create. We have to strengthen our ability to predict violence, to enforce boundaries, and to learn from patterns. The sad reality is that the evil we fight against will never be completely eradicated. All we can do is commit to learning, elevating our voices, and equipping the next generations of young women with skills that help them avoid intentional and collateral damage. All we can do is bear the burden of prevention. We didn’t ask for it, but it belongs to us.

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